Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

If you caught a shoplifter at your yard sale, how would you handle it?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

'Uranus is weird.' Big moons of tilted ice giant hide a magnetic mystery, Hubble telescope reveals - Space

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Elon Musk’s Reign of Corruption Chronicled in Elizabeth Warren Report - Rolling Stone

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How is it safe to put tape on your mouth at night?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

31 Little Upgrades To Your Day-To-Day That Won't Sound Life-Changing…Until You Try Them - BuzzFeed

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Inflation Expectations Decline; Labor Market Expectations Improve - Federal Reserve Bank of New York

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

In England, there's a small city called York which was named after New York. Why wasn't London, the largest city in England, named after New York? Why York?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is your twin flame story?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I see through liars

Planet Nine? Not quite, but some astronomers think they've spotted a new dwarf planet - NBC News

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Do you think Trump is a bad a$$? Why or why not?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why is digital marketing important?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday